another day has gone.. i duno wat i live for.

live for exam? or study.. or wat.. feel useless lar.. sometimes i do wanna hurt myself and just let myself feel the pain. but i din do anything lar.. coz i need to think of my parents too. noone knows that michelle actually have this kind of thinking.. i guess most ppl will think that im a hapi go lucky person lar.. maybe i am.. i always look calm.. emotionless.. muka sombong.. or very garang? my frens will know that im a crazy person, i change everyday. today im hapi tomoro i sad, morning hapi hapi aftanoon stress up. i always talk non sense in front of my frens, like khar yee said, im very fan wor~ haha... sometimes im super optimistic, sometimes i really think that im useless lar.. i was once a very very negative person.. didn talk much, always murung, no frens.. now much better d lar.. but i still have doubts on myself.. what is the truth of me? when will i know? haha.. the person i love has really dissapointed me very much.. what to do.. need to accept da fact d.. no1 can help me other than myself.

A reply to jien may!

so so terharu when i see that... about to cry.. but kenot cry lar! cos.. my mom is just beside me! anyway.. I LOVE YOU!!! thanx for cheering me up... i promise, i'll be fine... and i onli emo once while.. so just let me emo k.. haha... in school u will still see the happy michelle.. ^^ u're the second person who actually wrote me a letter! I'll keep it in my purse! forever! haha..

A friend is like a four leaf clover,
hard to find but lucky to have.

JIEN MAY, i am lucky to have you. ^^ ee.. macam love letter jeh~ haha...

If I were a boy

If i were a boy
Even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what i wanted and go

Drink beer with the guys
Snd chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
Cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When u lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they'd think that i was sleeping alone

I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she's be faithful
Waiting for me to come home, to come home

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When u lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake,
Think I'd forgive you like that,
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oohhh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy..

michelle is hopeless!

arh!! sum1 please come and slap me. i shud be studying... :( ish...angry wif myself.

no more....

broken. michelle no more. over.... i dare to say dis out. coz i know tat person wont be reading dis. i thought of suicide actually. but that is going to make me worst. im silly, always believe that i could be happy wif him one day. tat was my dream, now its broken. it is my fault? i duno.. it happen too fast... i dun have time to think.. pls let me forget all dis... i need to study for spm.. i dun wanna think about it. coz it wont help. i still have my friends around me.. my best frens... khar yee, maggie, sharon, jien may, yin kei.. i still have u ppl wif me.. friend is always the best. i hope u ppl wont leave me forever... and... i cant disapoint my parents.. i cant......

michelle, u have to do it. u can die after spm.. juz study all u can. make urself tired, dun think of him anymore..... u have to do it. nobody can help u.

SPM in 4 days...

sejarah...... my nightmare... :( i dun wanna fei lo.... ahwww!! how to study lar... i shall spend these few days all on sejarah.. although i know i shud pay attention on bm too.. at the same time.. the feeling of losing sum1 is reali terible.. i cant let it go.. i just cant. but wat can i do? all i can do is just wait.. and cry out when i have to. crying is a good way to release ur stress. i juz did when i watch moonlight resonance. yeah, i curi half an hour to watch tv... hmmph~

michelle is dissapointed.

disapointed by sumbody. who i think do not appreciate me. wat i hav done for this person all the way is just nothing to him. wat am i? who am i? wer am i? questions tat i always wanted to ask. however i knew the answer from the beginning. iwas the stupid 1. no regrets. i would still do the same thing if i get a chance to go back. silly me.

another disapointment is about my frens. again. i think frens need to be appreciated. but seem like im just a junk to her. when she is happy she would say out loud without thinking other ppl's feeling. syok sendiri till i canot tahan her. when she's not in mood, i wont feel like talking to her also. seeing her is like a kebiasaan. seeing her doing wat she always does, i would think. was i once a person just like her? haih...

talking bout dis, i hav another fren also.. dis fren, i think i wanna giv up on her. she's a bit selfish sumtimes. the way she talk can hurt. hmm.. see when oni she will realise the problem la...

DISAPOINTMENTS...

i shall pay more attention on SPM! try not to be emo..... try not to think to much.. try not to be sad... try to pretend... hahaha... michelle, u're sick.

so... so...

so.. what do u think about my new blog skin? nice right? hohoho... im lovin' it!!!!!
the song 'fall for you' is my fav song currently. kebetulan today hari penghargaan, miss Azyan performed it. wooah!! made me so high today... haha...

* fall for you *

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting.
Could it be that we have been this way before?
I know you don't think that I am trying;
I know you're wearing thin down to the core.

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again.
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day.
I swear it's true,
Because a girl like you is impossible to find.
You're impossible to find.

This is not what I intended.
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart.
You always thought that I was stronger.
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start.

Oh but hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day.
I swear it's true,
Because a girl like you is impossible to find.
It's impossible.

So breathe in so deep.
Breathe me in.
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cuz talk is cheap.
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep.